Six months ago we lost the best smile I've ever seen. Although it was no doubt the goofiest smile that has ever walked this earth, it was the BEST smile EVER! He smiled his best smile all the time. He laughed and loved and lived better than anyone... all the time and always with a smile on his face.
Seven weeks ago we lost an equally great smile: the best smile CJ has ever seen. The smile that was a constant on his face and then instantly on the faces of those around him as it was contagious. Even throughout the final days of his life here with us, he was laughing and joking and smiling that huge, sweet smile.
These days without those smiles are some of the hardest we have ever experienced. Daily it is a battle to remember to smile, be happy, and be as positive as these two men were.
In the fifteen years I was blessed to have him as my best friend, I cannot recall a time when Cam wasn't smiling. In the nineteen months I was blessed to know him as my husband's father, I cannot recall a time when Chuck wasn't smiling. I know, like in everyone's life, there were hard times, sad times, struggles, and even pain in both of their lives. However, no matter the magnitude of these times, they consistently chose happiness. They chose to smile in the dark times and dance in the rain. They could light up a room with their laughter and joy even when on the inside they may be hurting or unhappy.
These are the men who made others smile. These are the men who made us smile. Now they are in heaven (and probably together causing havoc) making everyone up there smile and blessing the lives of the angels they are now amongst. Today, as we scramble trying to make sense of all of this and tell ourselves things like "they would want us to remain happy" and "we need keep their smile alive," we cannot help but to feel sadness in our hearts and an emptiness that realistically can never be replaced.
So tonight, as I sit here in my Cameron memorial t-shirt sipping Cabernet out of a Arkansas Razorback wine glass, I try to remember to smile my best smile as I think about all of the memories I wouldn't have if God didn't give me the time He gave me with these two men... The time that He gave each one of us with these guys. Even if you have never had the pleasure of personally meeting either or both of them, I guarantee if you are reading this your life has been touched in one way or another by them- through a picture, through a song, by knowing one of their family members or friends, through a memory, and even more likely through a smile.For those of you who are struggling right now with the loss of your favorite smile and feel as though "This learning to live again is killing [you]," look through those pictures, think back upon those memories, listen to that song, watch that silly video, do something that will make you smile your best smile while honoring the one you love. I know it's hard! Believe me, I know it is! And, if you still can't find a way to put that smile on your face, I can help. Well actually, they can help.....
