Mean Girls

I’m sure almost every one of you have been exposed to some sort of “mean girl” situation during your life. Maybe you were bullied by the means girls during middle school. Maybe you were (and possibly could still be) the mean girl who made the lives of your victims miserable. Or maybe you were just a spectator watching on as the mean girl antics were taking place right in front of you, never daring to step in because then you too might become the victim. No matter what your experience(s) has been, mean girls are out there—alive and well—making others feel bad about themselves just so the so-called mean one can temporarily feel in control or superior because her lack of self-esteem knows no better.

As a child I only recall one personal run-in with a “mean girl.” My friends and I were on the playground (on the swing-set if I remember correctly) of Gladeville Elementary School. A so-called friend was so mean to me while the others stood up for me. I remember going home sad, wondering how someone could be so mean.  Looking back now, she was mean to me because she was jealous that her friends liked me just as much as they liked her. Maybe she felt threatened…who knows? At this point, it doesn’t matter, but at the time it really hurt my feelings.

Since then I have witnessed many “mean girl” episodes throughout high school, as I was teaching middle school, and still today in my young adult life. I have had my fair share of “mean girl-women” encounters as well over the past few years. No matter the specific situation, there is a common denominator: the “mean girl” tries to hurt me to make herself feel better. From my viewpoint, she is jealous of me or my situation. I am the nice girl who gets attention because I am nice or because I help others or because I always have a smile on my face. I am no better than anyone, and I will be the first to admit that. One thing that does set me apart from some, however, is my huge self-esteem and the confidence that radiates from me. I guess some are threatened by that, who knows?! What I do know is that there are some girls out there who can’t handle it, so instead of being nice and having a great friend in me, they are mean…they purposely try to bring me, and others like me, down. By doing this, for some unknown reason, it makes them feel good about themselves. Pathetic, right! Yep! But it’s the truth, and unfortunately it is all around us.

So, the next time you are the target of a “mean girl,” just remember that 1) they are jealous of you and/or 2)putting you down is the only way they can feel good about themselves. Hold your head up, smile, and walk away knowing that you ARE the better person. And for the “mean girl” out there reading this, we’re onto you, and it’s fine. If that’s the only way to make yourself feel good about YOU, bring it. You can knock us down for a moment or two, but just know that we will only get up stronger and more determined to be that much greater than you.

Life's a Dance; You Learn As You Go.... Goodbye, 2011.

Over the past 365 days, I have learned so much. As the music was playing and I was dancing through life’s trials and tribulations, I was learning and growing with every passing second. I admit that I had my fair share of moments of complaining about these lessons learned (sorry!), and if I could have controlled more of life, I would have.  With that being said, I am truly grateful for everything that I had to endure in 2011.  From the move to Oregon and the heartache that I felt for the good part of the year, to my journey across the country to Colorado and losing a friendship that I never imagined I’d be without, I learned more than I ever thought possible: more about friendship, love, regret, loss, and most importantly about myself.

With each passing day, I gain more and more confidence and pride in myself.  No matter what happens, I get up and make things great. Yeah, there are times that I stay down longer than I’d like to admit (and again, I'm sorry!), but once I get up, I am unstoppable. I wake up each day with no regrets and give my all in everything that I put my mind to.  I love with my entire heart; I give all of myself to my friends and family; I laugh even when I want to cry. I go through life with a smile on my face and love in my eyes. I treat people with respect and genuinely get to know others and listen to their stories.  It makes me feel good to make others feel good. No matter what, I continue to live, love, and laugh. Because of the way that I embrace life (even the bad parts), I know that I will be okay and that life will be great for me because I won’t stop until I make it the greatest life ever.

So, here’s to 2011: to the good times, to the trials, to the love and heartache I experienced, to the family that loved and supported me even when they didn’t agree with my decisions, to the best friends a girl could ask for, to the employers who gave me a chance, to the kids who look up to me, to the guys who let me go, to the new friends I have made along my journey, and to everything that has made me stronger and even more amazing than ever. Thank you for keeping my life interesting. There definitely hasn’t been a dull moment over the past year.

And to 2012: I cannot wait to see what you have in store for me. However, I do pray that you will be a little easier on me. But who knows, maybe there is more for me to learn about life and love!! One must fall to grow, right?! I know that without the hard times, I could not and will not grow stronger and more determined. I’m ready for you! Welcome.

A reflection on the best of 2011:

• Life in four different states before July/seven moves before September
• Couchsurfing for two months in Colorado
• Living on my own in my own place for the first time ever!!
• Walking on FIRE! (1200 degree hot coals, barefooted!!!)
• My first tattoo
• The “Three Best Friends Road Trip” 2011 with Kristi and JC
• Hot Air Balloon Festival in Albuquerque
• Breckinridge in February
• Camping Trip at Pagosa Springs (...only the first day though)
• Spending the night in Iowa with Quinton/ shooting guns for the first time
• Jackson Parker Whelan’s birth
• Five weeks of teaching at the best middle school ever
• Living with the best roomie (Jody!!!) ever in Georgia for five weeks
• St. Paddy’s Day in Savannah with Telisa, JJ, Cindy, and Steve
• 80’s Dance Night at The Crystal Ballroom in Portland
• Running my first 5K
• Running my first Half-Marathon!!!
• Tour de Fat with Cameron and Johnny
• My first annual “Ugly Christmas Sweater Party”
• Road trip across with Kansas with my parents in a gypsy van with an air mattress
• ZBB concert at Red Rocks
• Welcoming my brother-in-law home from Afghanistan
• Spending Thanksgiving with my family
• Surviving Christmas without my family
• And last, but definitely not least: Meeting so many friends along my journey this year. I am so glad all of you are in my life, especially those of you in Tennessee, Georgia, Oregon, New Mexico, and now Colorado.