Walls Around Our Hearts

Many of us build up "walls" of protection for one reason or another. It is our way of making sure we won't get hurt again. Often it seems like the minute we let those walls come down something happens, and we feel as if we need to build them right back up. But, are those walls protecting us or are they actually hurting us? 

Those "protective walls" are partly responsible for why it is so difficult for me to let people in, trust with my whole heart, and let myself be vulnerable around others. I just figure if no one else will handle my heart with care, I will be sure that I do! I now realize that I am taking huge risks by allowing these walls to stay up and I may be missing out on great opportunities that are right in front of me just because I am afraid of getting hurt once again. But, it is because of the moments of heartbreak that I am a stronger person and have a better understanding of what I want and need out of life.

Over the past couple of weeks I have felt confident that some of those walls could come down, and, with time, I would break free of all of the walls and defense mechanisms that I have created. I have been more vulnerable and let people in where I have never let them in before. I've felt safe, loved, protected. I know I am not ready to give my heart up completely, but 95% of me and my heart is ready and is sure that I can trust again.

A lot of great things has happened since I've been in Denver. I've grown; I've trusted; I've given as much of myself as I possibly could. Maybe this isn't much for some, but for me it's massive! It's leaps and bounds further than I thought I would be in a year, let alone in three weeks

I have felt pressure for these "protective walls" to come down and to open up my heart, but after looking at the progress I have made, I am thankful for the challenge because I wouldn't
have challenged myself like this.  I know now that I am ready to trust and let (the right) people in. I know that I am ready for love- to give love and to receive it. And, I know that someday I will be ready to give my whole heart to someone-- someone who will be worthy and ready to receive it.