noun, plural in·fi·del·i·ties.
1. marital disloyalty;
adultery.
2. unfaithfulness;
disloyalty. 3. lack of religious faith, especially Christian faith.
4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression.
I get out a lot; therefore, I see a
lot. Usually I just turn my cheek, try not to judge, and go on having fun
regardless of what others are doing around me. Last night I allowed myself to
stand back and observe the behaviors of my fellow bar patrons. As I was
watching the female tourists dance in their not-yet-broken-in cowboy boots, the
male creepers staring at them from their proudly assigned bar stools, and the
older ladies turning up their noses at the "dirty dancing" taking
place during the band's mediocre cover of "Drunk on You," I could not
help but maintain my attention on the slew of unfaithfulness that was booming
all around that bar/ dance floor. Throughout the night I witnessed what seemed
to be men and women (some wearing wedding bands, some not) act in ways that
were anything but appropriate. Although I wouldn't go so far as calling one of
these guys my "friend," I am acquaintances with one of them, and I
know good and well that he is in a relationship and his girlfriend is alive
(and madly in love with him, to say the least). As he was spinning a really cute girl (who was not his girlfriend) around the dance floor and kissing her all
the while, I wondered how many times this happens. It seemed
so nonchalant and almost normal and innocent in a very sad, sickening way.
As I stood there watching all of this
go on around me, I couldn't help but to wonder how many times this went on
undetected while I was married and/or in a relationship. I know it happened, but there is no telling how many times
and how many of my exes were guilty of this. I am not bitter or angry at the
men of my past, but it sure does make me hesitant and uneasy about any
potential men of my future. I used to be one of the most trusting women-which was
probably part of the problem- and I still consider myself pretty chill and
trusting once you've convinced me that you can be trusted. However, I am much more
cautious and aware that things like this do and will happen way too often.
This morning I spent some time
researching infidelity statistics and reading articles on the subject. As I was
reading through an article on MSNCB.com (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17951664/ns/health-sexual_health/t/many-cheat-thrill-more-stay-true-love/),
I came upon these quotes from unfaithful people that took an infidelity survey:
---“Mostly I’ve cheated because of the
excitement,” writes a 38-year-old man who took the survey. “I like variety and
a more wild sex life than I’ve been able to enjoy with relationship
partners."
---“I was miserable in my marriage of nine
years,” writes a 28-year-old woman who ended up divorcing her husband to be
with her affair partner. “My husband and I never had sex and the sex we did
have was boring!”
Really!? It is a sad world that we live in.
This brings me to the point of my blog:
Why cheat? Why be unfaithful? Why not just be honest with your significant other? If you aren't happy, you have some choices: talk with your partner, seek help, spice up your relationship, or break up. But don't cheat. If you want to cheat (or have a variety of people in your life), don't be in a relationship. And if you can't talk with your partner about serious issues, problems, concerns, etc., then y'all have no reason even being in a relationship. Seriously, cheating shouldn't even be an option. Someone will ALWAYS get hurt, and in the beginning- and maybe even the end- chances are it won't be you.
(PS-
Thank you to this sweet survey-guy who gives good women like myself some hope
that there are good men out there. So sweet. Where can I find a guy like
this???: "For some, remaining faithful is the ultimate
symbol of dedication. 'She is the love of my life,' writes one 31-year-old man
about his wife. 'I searched years to find her and I would never want to
ruin what took so long to find.'" Awwe.)
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