Every time I watch this scene from My Best Friend’s Wedding (and I’ve watched it approximately 327 times because it’s one of my favorite movies, ever!), I honestly think that Jules is going to confess her love to Michael. And each time the boat passes under the bridge in silence, I am left disappointed and yelling at the screen. Yep, I’m that girl…but that’s beside the point. Why doesn’t she tell him how she feels? It’s completely obvious that Jules is madly in love with Michael, yet she lets the moment pass her by. How aggravating!!!!!
Jules= the majority of the world’s
population. Why don’t we, the strong, independent, individuals that we are,
speak with our hearts? I have a hunch that most of us would have done the same
thing as Jules chose to do had we have been put in that situation. But why?
What do we have to lose? Our pride? Really?! The worst thing that possibly
could have happened on that boat if she would have said “I love you” to Michael
is if he replied with, “I’m flattered, but I am in love with Kimmie.” In my
opinion that would have been a lot better of an alternative than stealing a
catering truck, getting bombarded by some crazy women in a baseball stadium
bathroom, and crying like a maniac talking about pond scum in a train station.
Just sayin’.
If I have learned anything over the last
eleven years of relationships, it is to speak with your heart. Believe me, if
you don’t, you will (1) drive yourself crazy, (2) regret it for as long as you
live, (3) or will always wonder “what if?”
I didn’t always live so fearlessly. I
usually took the “sensible,” “safe,” and, dare I say, “easy” path in life. I am
(well, was…ok, still am a little) really bad at failure. If I knew I couldn’t
be the best at something, I wouldn’t
even attempt it (i.e. gymnastics at the age of five; piano at the age of eleven…
sorry mom!). And if I did attempt it and wasn’t an instant star, I stopped as
soon as I started. But what in the world was that teaching me? Nothing. It was
actually hurting me. For 25 years, I succeeded and had virtually the easiest
life, ever. True story. But then when my world did fall apart (or so it seemed
like it was falling apart then) in 2009, I did not have the appropriate tools
to survive. I didn’t know what to do when things weren’t perfect: when I wasn’t
perfect (gasp!).
I always made decisions based on my mind,
not on my heart. I did what society, what my parents, and what my peers
expected me to do. Funny thing is back then I thought I was happy living life
like that. To tell you the truth, I cannot remember if I was truly happy then
or not. Part of me thinks I was programmed to be happy because I lived life the
“right” way. Ha...
Boy, have things changed! I rarely make
decisions based on my head anymore (not saying that’s a good thing; just saying
I am soooo much happier because of it now). I let me heart lead me. Since 2009
when I finally started listening to my heart and not what my mind, society, or
anyone else had to say, I have been (and am) so much happier. I say how I feel
(not always, even I chicken out sometimes) and try to live without regrets. I
have found that I don’t beat myself up nearly as badly if I hear “no,” and the
results of speaking and living with my heart are so much better (and easier to
deal with) than the feeling of “failure” I felt in the past.
This is easier said than done; I know. I
still struggle with it and have to say to myself: “What in the world do you
have to lose? Just think of what you can gain!” If “no” is the worst possible thing
that can happen, so what?! You hear it once and move on...either soon or later…but
eventually you WILL move on. You take the lesson and turn it into greatness. It’s
a win-win.
Over the course of six months last year by
speaking with my heart, I lost a best friend who I thought would always be in
my life, but in the end I gained strength, life lessons, and an even greater
sense of self-love that I never knew was possible. Had I not listened to my
heart and let it lead me, I would still
be questioning my decisions and would not be where I am today (self-satisfied
and completely happy with my choices, moves, and the life-changing events that
have taken place over the past three years). It’s worth it. Something bigger
and better is waiting for you (and for me) out there!! You just have to get it
to, and you will if you open your mind and let your heart speak. In the end you
owe no one anything, but you owe yourself (and your heart) everything. Listen to your heart. It’s right, I tell ya.
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