Marriage: Part I

What Happened?

I get this all the time. As soon as the words “Erin” and “divorced” get mentioned together, the next words are always: “What happened?” Instead of going through the long, drawn out explanation of the entire eight year relationship and the over-year-long break up, I normally respond with, “We grew up and grew apart. We were young and had a lot to learn.” That pretty much sums it up without pointing fingers, slandering the other’s name, and mentioning anything that could possibly bring back unwanted, painful memories that I have worked so hard to put to rest and extinguish from my life. Sometimes I don’t get off that easy though, and my audience eagerly insists for more. If they are adamant enough, I will go on to tell “the story,” and once again I move on and continue with this life of happiness I chose in place of the life of unhappy idleness that was once my life and my marriage.

The more I talk about it, the easier it becomes to explain. I’m not saying it will ever be easy; believe me there are days that the tears still try to emerge when I think about being the only one in my family who has ever been divorced and by getting divorced I brought sadness and hurt to my family and to his, but I have come to peace with the fact that it is and will always be a part of me, who I am, and possibly the greatest source of the many lessons I have learned in my adult life that will ensure greater happiness in my days to come. I am not saddened by the fact that the man whom I once knew as my husband is not in my life, nor am I saddened that I will not have the “happily ever after” life with him that I had always planned. In fact I am relieved that God has blessed with me with a second chance at life the way I want to live it, love that is greater and more powerful than anything that I have ever imagined, and the happiness that I deserve. I know in my heart that my marriage had to end so that this life could begin.

 

So there you have it. I am a twenty-eight year old, single, divorced woman who is proud of who she is and what she has become. If it were not for the mountains I had to climb over, the scars I had to endure, and the breaks in my heart that are finally healed, I would not be who I am today. Because of that, I will continue to tell my story and never forget what I had to go through, who I had to forgive, and what I had to learn to become me.

(to be continued...)