You Should've Said "No," But I'm Glad You Didn't

It’s easy now to look back at things and be glad that they played out in the exact ways in which they did. For a long time, though, that was not the case.

I used to get super pissed off when Taylor Swift’s “Should Have Said No” came on the radio. Instead of changing the station or skipping to the next track of the CD, I would stubbornly sing it at the top of my lungs with an in-your-face attitude. It was almost like a healing therapy for me for quite some time. But the second the song ended, I was still angry and would let my mind wonder about those disturbing details that, to this day, are still not completely revealed.

Now, however, when that song comes on, I smile. I laugh. I am relieved. Yeah, there are still times when I think he should have said “no” and will completely never understand the concept of cheating, but then quickly, and I mean quickly, I remind myself that if he had simply said “no,” there’s a good chance that I would still be living a mediocre life of repetition and settling for things that society tricked me into believing “makes us happy:”money, marriage, an underpaid, unappreciative job, a membership at the local country club, etc. For some, that is exactly what makes them happy, but not for me. Those things don’t matter if I don’t have a passionate love for what I am doing, who I am spending my time with, and for myself.

Finally, I have come to a complete acceptance of how everything in my life has played out. At times it was a difficult rollercoaster of emotions, but when I think of all the other times that have resulted from his decision to not say “no”… wow! Wow. Wow. Never again will I wonder if there is more to life than I am currently living. Never again will I settle for mediocrity in a relationship, a career, or myself. So, although he should have said “no,” I am glad he didn’t.